Being a freshman at a large liberal arts university, I am practically required to change my major at least 1091890 x 10^21 times. This is why every Wednesday, I reevaluate what I think my major should be this week. Though I've never officially declared anything (ok, maybe once, but I was a high schooler trying to get into college. What did I know?) it is fun to think. Most of the time my evaluation has at least one legitimate option, one option that I would love to actually be a real and attainable option, and another couple of options that I toss in there for fun (past examples include professional hobo and professional street performer.) As of late, the idea that has been sticking around most consistently has been majoring in human biology, or something of the sort, and going to graduate school to become a chiropractor. We will see how long this lasts. BUT, without further adieu, here is this week's choice for what's my major Wednesday........
B.A. in Sarcasm and B.S.
I came up with this lovely idea while scrolling though the majors list on the university website. Being my mature, adult self, I giggled every time I saw the term "B.S." (which means bachelor of science) That's when I wondered if that could be a real major. What would I do with my degree in sarcasm you may ask? Well dear children, I have grand plans for my sarcastic self. First off, I would want to make regular guest appearances on Saturday night live. I would only want to be in the funny sketches though, not any of the ones that drag on and on and they're trying to be funny and everyone watching just feels very uncomfortable. Nope. None of that for me. Clearly, a B.A. in sarcasm makes you more than qualified to have your own late night comedy show, right? Right. One of my favorite past times is making fun celebrities and other people and other people's habits. Don't get me wrong, it's not out of a mean spirit, but a humorous one. It's like being a sarcastic sociologist. Most of what I say is an observation, not a judgement. So in short, I want to be Chelsea Handler. Because, let's be real, there is nothing better than late night Chelsea Lately reruns. Or even better, actually tuning in at the ungodly inconvenient time to watch that days episode. I mean, Chelsea is so funny, that they actually put funny people on the show with her, so she can out funny them! She's so funny, that half the time she doesn't host her own show, and they still call it Chelsea Lately. So, in conclusion, this week's what's my major Wednesday is just me, giving myself an excuse to be highly inappropriate all the time. Sounds like a fabulous degree to me.
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