These are NOT a few of my favorite things

There are many things that I will not miss about living in my residence hall. The stumbling drunks on every night of the week (oh, they don't even rest for Sunday!), the smell of vomit on dollar night, the sounds of 1000 herds of cattle running up and down the hallway at 3AM on a Tuesday night, or even the passed out people in the lobby. No, this is not what I will 'miss' the most.

You may be wondering why I'm up right now. It is, after all, 1:41 AM on a Friday night. Have I been out partying my face off as a reward for midterms well done? No. I'm awake because of a stroke of intelligence in a member of my residence hall.

When one has a migraine, one usually goes to sleep. So, at approximately 10:30PM I got in my very cozy bed and went to sleep. At approximately 1AM, the fire alarm goes off. Yes, ladies and gentleman the fire. alarm. Living in a building that is 90+ years old, the fire alarm sounds like a mixture of a whale getting stepped on by an oversize elephant and foghorn. Needless to say, I was quickly awakened.

Now, it isn't unusual for our dorm to have fire drills (though they don't normally happen at night) so I decided to get out of bed for fear of my RA. "get out of bed" might be too nice of term. I fell. I also did not stick the landing, and came down sideways on my foot. Joy.

I went outside with the rest of the residents in my pajamas, because god knows these cow pajama pants needed to be seen. I stood out on the lawn for a grand total of 30 minutes. Bear in mind people, it's about 30 degrees outside. The fire department arrives, the police, the dominos pizza guy, and the rest of the people who tried to stay inside all stand on the lawn. The parade of whores and shackers start to trickle out. But who comes out next? A girl (who will remain unnamed for fear of her life) comes out with a basket. Not just any ordinary basket. A basket containing a bucket of popcorn that was once on fire.

I have only one thing to say:

Dear girl with the popcorn,
When you come home drunk, and think you need popcorn. DON'T. Just don't. If for some reason, you can't help yourself. Please remember to take the plastic wrap off the popcorn before you microwave it.
Thanks
That girl who was actually asleep

So now, after a lovely 30 minute stand out in the cold, I have navigated through the drunk people back to my room. Yes, it smells like burnt popcorn. Yes, I'm icing my ankle. Enough said. Yay me.