Thursday, November 21, 2013
I'm back...sort of
My ability to drop off the face of the Earth really is superb. My secret? Contract laryngitis. Yes, ladies and gentleman, if you too would like to drop off the face of the Earth and not leave your bed for an entire week, an upper respiratory infection is for you. While I've had laryngitis I have had only the most convenient things happen to me. This is the only week of the entire semester I have had two clarinet lessons in one week, I've had to cancel both, so needless to say my teacher (who doesn't care for me much anyway) is a little irked. I had a math test over logarithms and exponential functions, which I don't understand on any day, let alone a day when my sinuses are about ready to fall out my ears. But Wednesday tops it all. Yes, Wednesday most definitely takes the cake. Out of the entire semester, the one week I have a SPANISH ORAL EXAM, is the week I get laryngitis. Wednesday morning I woke up feeling like I was punched in the face twice by Mike Tyson, run over by a semi, closely followed by a train and then stampeded upon by a herd of obese camels. I did manage to get to my test on time (7:50 AM) and I opened my mouth to speak to the other students waiting to take the speaking test and....nothing. I had completely lost my voice. I sounded like the tiniest, squeakiest mouse. Somehow, everyone else (including my teacher) found this rather amusing. But never fear, I did make it through the test by holding the microphone right in front of my face. Now, on Friday I am sounding much more like a 60 year old male chain smoker, which has given me back my ability to communicate with others. My voice has also been compared to the chocolate lady from Spongebob. If you don't know what I'm talking about and you're under the age of 25, I'm very disappointed. So, to close, I'd like to leave another one of my famous little college tips: Bring more medicine. Bring dayquil, nyquil, sudafed, excedrin, advil, tums, whatever you can think of for any disease you could possibly contract. If your RA doesn't think you're a drug dealer, then you're doing it wrong. Take the number of times you've been sick in your entire life times 4 times and that's how often you will get sick in college. Bring. dem. meds.
In case you are one of the poor souls that never watched Spongebob, here's the chocolate lady. The show isn't actually in black and white, but that's the best I could find. Curse you copyright laws.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
College Lies
Now that I am a college student, I feel it is my responsibility to go back and rid the world of all the crappy advice I got. Ladies, Cosmo and Seventeen are not the places to get college advice. Gentleman, you don't have to be a frat star to survive in college. Believe me.
1. "No one in college carries a backpack, get yourself a cute purse or bag" Seventeen
FALSE!! Absolutely false. In fact, the majority of people carry backpacks, even my teachers! There are a few girls who think they are just too cool to have backpack and carry around their longchamps, but let's be real, I'm judging them. Not only do people carry around backpacks, but they carry nice backpacks. Jansport isn't going to cut it people! Invest in a Northface, Patagonia, or some other brand of very well made backpacks. Hiking backpacks are designed to save your back, and believe me, you'll want that later.
2. "Practically everyone has a Mac, so go pro." Seventeen
This is kind of true, but at the same time don't run to the Apple store right now! Depending on your major, sometimes PCs are recommended. For example, most engineering schools, as well as some business schools require PCs. Otherwise, Mac might be your best choice. They just run better than PCs in my opinion, and have fewer problems. However, if you aren't Mac savvy, take a class or something before getting to college. All the library computers are PCs and you are going to need to know how to convert your files. Lastly, you don't have to go pro. In fact, I wouldn't. I have a MacBook white, similar to a pro, and it gets heavy. I'm seriously considering getting an IPad or a MacBook air simply because lugging this thing to class and all over campus is like carrying the population of China in your backpack.
3. "Going to big lectures isn't important, and the professors will likely post the notes anyway." Cosmo
Seriously, who writes these? GO. TO. CLASS. If you go to class you are hearing what the professor is saying, seeing it, and writing it. Three opportunities for you to learn it simultaneously, as opposed to just reading notes of classmate. Also, lots of universities are trying to move to smaller class sizes where attendance can be taken everyday, or at random. The easiest points you can get are the ones for showing up to class. Just go.
4. "Go out on the weeknights, you are only in college once." Cosmo
Personally, I don't go out on weeknights except on rare occasions. But I would like to take this opportunity to say that college will surround you with people who drink, but you don't have to be one of them. A lot of people in my dorm go out on weeknights, but I don't have to go with them. There is always someone to stay in with. Believe me when I say, that I deal with enough drunken idiots to know that I will never drink that much. Know your limits, know how much sleep you need, and make homework a priority. Your parent's aren't paying 500 dollars a day for you to be so hungover that you don't even go to class.
5. "Hot professors are the best." Seventeen
Excuse me. But is this even real life? Like no. Smart professors are the best, personable professors are the best, good professors are the best. Is it nice to have something to look at every once and a while? Yes, but find a classmate. Ratemyprofessor.com can be a beautiful thing. I know it sounds superficial and awful, but this website has some really helpful comments about what a professor is like, their lecture style, and if they even care. Some professors are just ready to retire. If you have the opportunity to take from an amazing professor, do it. Skip the hot TA and go for the engaging professor who will actually give you a decent education.
I'm sure there will be many more college rumors for me to bust later, but I feel like I've done some damage to the plethora of crap out there for high schoolers to read. I seriously wonder sometimes if the people that write these columns actually went to college...
1. "No one in college carries a backpack, get yourself a cute purse or bag" Seventeen
FALSE!! Absolutely false. In fact, the majority of people carry backpacks, even my teachers! There are a few girls who think they are just too cool to have backpack and carry around their longchamps, but let's be real, I'm judging them. Not only do people carry around backpacks, but they carry nice backpacks. Jansport isn't going to cut it people! Invest in a Northface, Patagonia, or some other brand of very well made backpacks. Hiking backpacks are designed to save your back, and believe me, you'll want that later.
2. "Practically everyone has a Mac, so go pro." Seventeen
This is kind of true, but at the same time don't run to the Apple store right now! Depending on your major, sometimes PCs are recommended. For example, most engineering schools, as well as some business schools require PCs. Otherwise, Mac might be your best choice. They just run better than PCs in my opinion, and have fewer problems. However, if you aren't Mac savvy, take a class or something before getting to college. All the library computers are PCs and you are going to need to know how to convert your files. Lastly, you don't have to go pro. In fact, I wouldn't. I have a MacBook white, similar to a pro, and it gets heavy. I'm seriously considering getting an IPad or a MacBook air simply because lugging this thing to class and all over campus is like carrying the population of China in your backpack.
3. "Going to big lectures isn't important, and the professors will likely post the notes anyway." Cosmo
Seriously, who writes these? GO. TO. CLASS. If you go to class you are hearing what the professor is saying, seeing it, and writing it. Three opportunities for you to learn it simultaneously, as opposed to just reading notes of classmate. Also, lots of universities are trying to move to smaller class sizes where attendance can be taken everyday, or at random. The easiest points you can get are the ones for showing up to class. Just go.
4. "Go out on the weeknights, you are only in college once." Cosmo
Personally, I don't go out on weeknights except on rare occasions. But I would like to take this opportunity to say that college will surround you with people who drink, but you don't have to be one of them. A lot of people in my dorm go out on weeknights, but I don't have to go with them. There is always someone to stay in with. Believe me when I say, that I deal with enough drunken idiots to know that I will never drink that much. Know your limits, know how much sleep you need, and make homework a priority. Your parent's aren't paying 500 dollars a day for you to be so hungover that you don't even go to class.
5. "Hot professors are the best." Seventeen
Excuse me. But is this even real life? Like no. Smart professors are the best, personable professors are the best, good professors are the best. Is it nice to have something to look at every once and a while? Yes, but find a classmate. Ratemyprofessor.com can be a beautiful thing. I know it sounds superficial and awful, but this website has some really helpful comments about what a professor is like, their lecture style, and if they even care. Some professors are just ready to retire. If you have the opportunity to take from an amazing professor, do it. Skip the hot TA and go for the engaging professor who will actually give you a decent education.
I'm sure there will be many more college rumors for me to bust later, but I feel like I've done some damage to the plethora of crap out there for high schoolers to read. I seriously wonder sometimes if the people that write these columns actually went to college...
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