Wednesday, October 30, 2013
My Favorite Type of AC
Greetings from the tundra/ the north pole/ pluto/ the polar ice caps/ Antarctica/ my room. Yes, ladies and gentleman, it is a chilly 60 degrees Fahrenheit in my room currently. However, I'm not here today to talk about AC, like air conditioning. I'm here to talk about possibly the best thing that's happened to me this semester. I saw my very favorite type of AC this week. That's right, you guessed it. Aaron freaking Carter. I endured a long line, a nasty bar, drunken concert goers, and those creepy bouncers that put x's on your hands, all to see my kindergarten crush, Aaron Carter. When he came running out singing I want candy, a little piece of my 6 year old self came back. Let me tell you, some may say that Aaron Carter needs to get a real job and move on. Others may say that he is just a washed up child star. Well, they are wrong. He. Is. Beautiful. He still has the voice of an angel and body of Olympian. He took me on a ride back through the 90's singing "I want Candy," "I Want it That Way," and "Bye, Bye Bye." But really, it didn't hit me till he hit every single note of Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines." He's still got it. Just when I thought my inner child was fully satisfied that she had finally seen Aaron Carter live after 12 years of waiting, Aaron got me again. I touched Aaron Carter. I REPEAT, THIS HAND TOUCHED AARON CARTER! While he was serenading me to what has become my ultimate jam (Aaron's Party) he winked at me, held out his hand, and I touched it. That concert was well worth the 12 year wait, the sweaty mosh pit, staying out late on a school night, and the lack of ability to hear for the next 24 hours. So, I guess you could say my major for this week's "What's My Major Wednesday?"would be a B.A. in fangirl. Also, just in case you were wondering, Aaron Carter is only 25, so I still have a chance. Dibs.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Dear Roommate
Dear Roommate,
I've noticed a new trend that is not working out in my favor. This trend involves our air conditioner. You see, roommate, when the weather turns cold outside, it doesn't have to turn cold inside too. We have this beautiful thing called a radiator which emits life-giving heat. Now roommate, I know you know we have a radiator because occasionally the pipes bang together and sound like someone is firing a shotgun inside of our radiator. It's a little hard to miss.
Roommate, I would like to thank you for one thing. I actually didn't know that our air conditioning went down to 60 degrees. What a pleasant surprise. However, when the temperature outside is only 50 degrees, 60 degrees isn't actually that pleasant. Unless you want me to don a red suit and start saying "ho ho ho" there is no reason for our room to feel like the north pole.
Contrary to your belief, I actually don't enjoy waking up for my 8AM class and feeling like I'm touching an icicle as I climb down my ladder. I feel like my next step may be to grow feathers and become a penguin, since clearly our room is the arctic circle.
So, in conclusion roommate, we need to turn up the heat, and turn off the air conditioner. If we don't remedy this situation soon, plaster dust won't be the only white powder falling from our ceiling.
Sincerly,
Your frost bitten roommate
I've noticed a new trend that is not working out in my favor. This trend involves our air conditioner. You see, roommate, when the weather turns cold outside, it doesn't have to turn cold inside too. We have this beautiful thing called a radiator which emits life-giving heat. Now roommate, I know you know we have a radiator because occasionally the pipes bang together and sound like someone is firing a shotgun inside of our radiator. It's a little hard to miss.
Roommate, I would like to thank you for one thing. I actually didn't know that our air conditioning went down to 60 degrees. What a pleasant surprise. However, when the temperature outside is only 50 degrees, 60 degrees isn't actually that pleasant. Unless you want me to don a red suit and start saying "ho ho ho" there is no reason for our room to feel like the north pole.
Contrary to your belief, I actually don't enjoy waking up for my 8AM class and feeling like I'm touching an icicle as I climb down my ladder. I feel like my next step may be to grow feathers and become a penguin, since clearly our room is the arctic circle.
So, in conclusion roommate, we need to turn up the heat, and turn off the air conditioner. If we don't remedy this situation soon, plaster dust won't be the only white powder falling from our ceiling.
Sincerly,
Your frost bitten roommate
Saturday, October 26, 2013
These are NOT a few of my favorite things
There are many things that I will not miss about living in my residence hall. The stumbling drunks on every night of the week (oh, they don't even rest for Sunday!), the smell of vomit on dollar night, the sounds of 1000 herds of cattle running up and down the hallway at 3AM on a Tuesday night, or even the passed out people in the lobby. No, this is not what I will 'miss' the most.
You may be wondering why I'm up right now. It is, after all, 1:41 AM on a Friday night. Have I been out partying my face off as a reward for midterms well done? No. I'm awake because of a stroke of intelligence in a member of my residence hall.
When one has a migraine, one usually goes to sleep. So, at approximately 10:30PM I got in my very cozy bed and went to sleep. At approximately 1AM, the fire alarm goes off. Yes, ladies and gentleman the fire. alarm. Living in a building that is 90+ years old, the fire alarm sounds like a mixture of a whale getting stepped on by an oversize elephant and foghorn. Needless to say, I was quickly awakened.
Now, it isn't unusual for our dorm to have fire drills (though they don't normally happen at night) so I decided to get out of bed for fear of my RA. "get out of bed" might be too nice of term. I fell. I also did not stick the landing, and came down sideways on my foot. Joy.
I went outside with the rest of the residents in my pajamas, because god knows these cow pajama pants needed to be seen. I stood out on the lawn for a grand total of 30 minutes. Bear in mind people, it's about 30 degrees outside. The fire department arrives, the police, the dominos pizza guy, and the rest of the people who tried to stay inside all stand on the lawn. The parade of whores and shackers start to trickle out. But who comes out next? A girl (who will remain unnamed for fear of her life) comes out with a basket. Not just any ordinary basket. A basket containing a bucket of popcorn that was once on fire.
I have only one thing to say:
Dear girl with the popcorn,
When you come home drunk, and think you need popcorn. DON'T. Just don't. If for some reason, you can't help yourself. Please remember to take the plastic wrap off the popcorn before you microwave it.
Thanks
That girl who was actually asleep
So now, after a lovely 30 minute stand out in the cold, I have navigated through the drunk people back to my room. Yes, it smells like burnt popcorn. Yes, I'm icing my ankle. Enough said. Yay me.
You may be wondering why I'm up right now. It is, after all, 1:41 AM on a Friday night. Have I been out partying my face off as a reward for midterms well done? No. I'm awake because of a stroke of intelligence in a member of my residence hall.
When one has a migraine, one usually goes to sleep. So, at approximately 10:30PM I got in my very cozy bed and went to sleep. At approximately 1AM, the fire alarm goes off. Yes, ladies and gentleman the fire. alarm. Living in a building that is 90+ years old, the fire alarm sounds like a mixture of a whale getting stepped on by an oversize elephant and foghorn. Needless to say, I was quickly awakened.
Now, it isn't unusual for our dorm to have fire drills (though they don't normally happen at night) so I decided to get out of bed for fear of my RA. "get out of bed" might be too nice of term. I fell. I also did not stick the landing, and came down sideways on my foot. Joy.
I went outside with the rest of the residents in my pajamas, because god knows these cow pajama pants needed to be seen. I stood out on the lawn for a grand total of 30 minutes. Bear in mind people, it's about 30 degrees outside. The fire department arrives, the police, the dominos pizza guy, and the rest of the people who tried to stay inside all stand on the lawn. The parade of whores and shackers start to trickle out. But who comes out next? A girl (who will remain unnamed for fear of her life) comes out with a basket. Not just any ordinary basket. A basket containing a bucket of popcorn that was once on fire.
I have only one thing to say:
Dear girl with the popcorn,
When you come home drunk, and think you need popcorn. DON'T. Just don't. If for some reason, you can't help yourself. Please remember to take the plastic wrap off the popcorn before you microwave it.
Thanks
That girl who was actually asleep
So now, after a lovely 30 minute stand out in the cold, I have navigated through the drunk people back to my room. Yes, it smells like burnt popcorn. Yes, I'm icing my ankle. Enough said. Yay me.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
What's My Major Wednesday-October 23rd
Being a freshman at a large liberal arts university, I am practically required to change my major at least 1091890 x 10^21 times. This is why every Wednesday, I reevaluate what I think my major should be this week. Though I've never officially declared anything (ok, maybe once, but I was a high schooler trying to get into college. What did I know?) it is fun to think. Most of the time my evaluation has at least one legitimate option, one option that I would love to actually be a real and attainable option, and another couple of options that I toss in there for fun (past examples include professional hobo and professional street performer.) As of late, the idea that has been sticking around most consistently has been majoring in human biology, or something of the sort, and going to graduate school to become a chiropractor. We will see how long this lasts. BUT, without further adieu, here is this week's choice for what's my major Wednesday........
B.A. in Sarcasm and B.S.
I came up with this lovely idea while scrolling though the majors list on the university website. Being my mature, adult self, I giggled every time I saw the term "B.S." (which means bachelor of science) That's when I wondered if that could be a real major. What would I do with my degree in sarcasm you may ask? Well dear children, I have grand plans for my sarcastic self. First off, I would want to make regular guest appearances on Saturday night live. I would only want to be in the funny sketches though, not any of the ones that drag on and on and they're trying to be funny and everyone watching just feels very uncomfortable. Nope. None of that for me. Clearly, a B.A. in sarcasm makes you more than qualified to have your own late night comedy show, right? Right. One of my favorite past times is making fun celebrities and other people and other people's habits. Don't get me wrong, it's not out of a mean spirit, but a humorous one. It's like being a sarcastic sociologist. Most of what I say is an observation, not a judgement. So in short, I want to be Chelsea Handler. Because, let's be real, there is nothing better than late night Chelsea Lately reruns. Or even better, actually tuning in at the ungodly inconvenient time to watch that days episode. I mean, Chelsea is so funny, that they actually put funny people on the show with her, so she can out funny them! She's so funny, that half the time she doesn't host her own show, and they still call it Chelsea Lately. So, in conclusion, this week's what's my major Wednesday is just me, giving myself an excuse to be highly inappropriate all the time. Sounds like a fabulous degree to me.
B.A. in Sarcasm and B.S.
I came up with this lovely idea while scrolling though the majors list on the university website. Being my mature, adult self, I giggled every time I saw the term "B.S." (which means bachelor of science) That's when I wondered if that could be a real major. What would I do with my degree in sarcasm you may ask? Well dear children, I have grand plans for my sarcastic self. First off, I would want to make regular guest appearances on Saturday night live. I would only want to be in the funny sketches though, not any of the ones that drag on and on and they're trying to be funny and everyone watching just feels very uncomfortable. Nope. None of that for me. Clearly, a B.A. in sarcasm makes you more than qualified to have your own late night comedy show, right? Right. One of my favorite past times is making fun celebrities and other people and other people's habits. Don't get me wrong, it's not out of a mean spirit, but a humorous one. It's like being a sarcastic sociologist. Most of what I say is an observation, not a judgement. So in short, I want to be Chelsea Handler. Because, let's be real, there is nothing better than late night Chelsea Lately reruns. Or even better, actually tuning in at the ungodly inconvenient time to watch that days episode. I mean, Chelsea is so funny, that they actually put funny people on the show with her, so she can out funny them! She's so funny, that half the time she doesn't host her own show, and they still call it Chelsea Lately. So, in conclusion, this week's what's my major Wednesday is just me, giving myself an excuse to be highly inappropriate all the time. Sounds like a fabulous degree to me.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Who are you?
No, this is not a post about popular music of the 80's, though that might be slightly more entertaining. This post is all about the one and only me. What's the best way to get to know each other, you might ask? Well, according to 21st century culture and my high school freshman past self, the best way to get to know someone is through a 50 questions facebook note. So pretty much the evolved version of a MySpace quiz....Here goes nothing.
Where is your Mother?
I'm going to have to say she is probably in bed, the woman never stays up past like 8PM.
Where is your Father?
Working.
Do you like to swim?
Well, with 4 years of high school swim team under my belt I can definitely say, not anymore.
Do you need to return anyones phone call?
Probably. But let's be real, if it hasn't happened by now, it isn't going to happen.
Where were you born?
In a hospital. Duh.
Where do you keep your birth certificate?
Dude, I have no idea where that even is. I bet my mom lost it.
How many days until your birthday?
Exactly one month. Well I guess it's past midnight, so one month minus one day.
What is the closest orange object to you?
I don't have the desire to look. Probably goldfish.
Have you sneezed in the past hour?
No, and this is a stupid question.
How many books are in your room?
Not as many as there should be for a college student.
What did you last eat?
A crap ton of free pancakes
Who is your favorite teacher of all time?
Well, I've had a number. My eighth grade teacher is responsible for any knowledge I have of the English language, and she was almost as sarcastic as I am, so she makes the list. I had some top notch high school teachers, but my absolute favorite would have to be my band director. Talk about an amazing lady. Currently, my favorite teacher is my Spanish GTA, she is quite amusing and makes quality facial expressions.
Name one of your goals for this year?
Survive freshman year of college. Also don't get fat.
What is the biggest trouble you have ever been in?
Senior year my mom took my car, and I actually don't remember why. I must've said something extremely sassy.
Did you cry because Michael Jackson died?
No.
What does your 9th message on your phone say?
"Boo, you whore."
Look to your left. What's there?
A lamp. Oh boy.
Ever pop someone else's pimple?
WTF what is wrong with the quiz. No.
How long does it take you to fall asleep?
Depends which level of exhaustion I'm at or which class I'm in.
Are you scared about the end of the world?
Nope
Is there a TV in the room you are in?
Yes, what else am I supposed to watch Duck Dynasty on?
What are you looking forward to?
The end of this quiz.
What comes to your mind when I say red?
Light.
What other language do you want to be fluent in?
Spanish...German, French, and Math
Do you crack your neck often?
No, but my chiropractor does.
Do you usually hold your pee for a long time?
No, because I have to pee like every 3 milliseconds.
Is it possible to lick your elbow?
No, but my best friend can
Worst feeling in the world?
Loneliness.
What's your current favorite commercial?
HUUUUUUMMP DAAAAAYYY
Name something you think is pointless?
This stupid quiz. Also our dorm floor rules and psychology
Favorite fast food restaurant?
Chickfila
Have you ever been in a fist fight?
Probably, if I have I probably lost. I mean, does my brother count?
Would you consider yourself as a pyro?
That was a terribly worded question. and no.
Did you have a weird dream last night?
No
Do you wish at 11:11?
Clearly.
Do surveys really cure boredom?
No , because this was boring AF
There. Now you know everything about me! Yay you. I'm sure your life is much more enriched and fulfilling now. Now it's time to strap on your seat belts kids, because we are about to embark on the wild, scattered, crazy ride that is my life.
Where is your Mother?
I'm going to have to say she is probably in bed, the woman never stays up past like 8PM.
Where is your Father?
Working.
Do you like to swim?
Well, with 4 years of high school swim team under my belt I can definitely say, not anymore.
Do you need to return anyones phone call?
Probably. But let's be real, if it hasn't happened by now, it isn't going to happen.
Where were you born?
In a hospital. Duh.
Where do you keep your birth certificate?
Dude, I have no idea where that even is. I bet my mom lost it.
How many days until your birthday?
Exactly one month. Well I guess it's past midnight, so one month minus one day.
What is the closest orange object to you?
I don't have the desire to look. Probably goldfish.
Have you sneezed in the past hour?
No, and this is a stupid question.
How many books are in your room?
Not as many as there should be for a college student.
What did you last eat?
A crap ton of free pancakes
Who is your favorite teacher of all time?
Well, I've had a number. My eighth grade teacher is responsible for any knowledge I have of the English language, and she was almost as sarcastic as I am, so she makes the list. I had some top notch high school teachers, but my absolute favorite would have to be my band director. Talk about an amazing lady. Currently, my favorite teacher is my Spanish GTA, she is quite amusing and makes quality facial expressions.
Name one of your goals for this year?
Survive freshman year of college. Also don't get fat.
What is the biggest trouble you have ever been in?
Senior year my mom took my car, and I actually don't remember why. I must've said something extremely sassy.
Did you cry because Michael Jackson died?
No.
What does your 9th message on your phone say?
"Boo, you whore."
Look to your left. What's there?
A lamp. Oh boy.
Ever pop someone else's pimple?
WTF what is wrong with the quiz. No.
How long does it take you to fall asleep?
Depends which level of exhaustion I'm at or which class I'm in.
Are you scared about the end of the world?
Nope
Is there a TV in the room you are in?
Yes, what else am I supposed to watch Duck Dynasty on?
What are you looking forward to?
The end of this quiz.
What comes to your mind when I say red?
Light.
What other language do you want to be fluent in?
Spanish...German, French, and Math
Do you crack your neck often?
No, but my chiropractor does.
Do you usually hold your pee for a long time?
No, because I have to pee like every 3 milliseconds.
Is it possible to lick your elbow?
No, but my best friend can
Worst feeling in the world?
Loneliness.
What's your current favorite commercial?
HUUUUUUMMP DAAAAAYYY
Name something you think is pointless?
This stupid quiz. Also our dorm floor rules and psychology
Favorite fast food restaurant?
Chickfila
Have you ever been in a fist fight?
Probably, if I have I probably lost. I mean, does my brother count?
Would you consider yourself as a pyro?
That was a terribly worded question. and no.
Did you have a weird dream last night?
No
Do you wish at 11:11?
Clearly.
Do surveys really cure boredom?
No , because this was boring AF
There. Now you know everything about me! Yay you. I'm sure your life is much more enriched and fulfilling now. Now it's time to strap on your seat belts kids, because we are about to embark on the wild, scattered, crazy ride that is my life.
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