After a lovely thanksgiving break away from school, I'm officially back and ready for the last long two weeks before finals start. While I was at home, I observed the true meaning of Thanksgiving, which is food. This led me to try and think of other things in my life that were very clearly made by Americans. I don't care if some French guy actually made it or it evolved from some Indian tradition. It's 'merican.
#1: Thanksgiving
I would venture to guess that not only was this invented by an American, but but an American man. This holiday is centered around food. I mean sure, we give thanks like for .02 seconds before we eat our weight in mashed potatoes. Thanksgiving also has themes of football, alcohol, and general laziness twisted in, which just confirms my suspicion that clearly a pilgrim man came up with the entire idea.
#2: Corn dogs
Really, if you think about it, corn dogs are really just hot dogs you only have to eat with one hand. Corn dogs are like hot dogs for lazy people.
#3: Microwavable food
This I believe was actually invented by a woman. For some reason, the men in my life actually have no idea how to cook. I believe my dad officially just added pasta to his list *insert clapping here* So, some forward thinking woman decided that she would create the holy grail of all food and just flash freeze premade food so that inept men everywhere wouldn't starve to death while their significant other was out of town. I'm sure this also decreased the number of accidental house fires and pizza deliveries. However, this one kind of backfired on her because, maybe it's just me, but every time my brothers want microwavable food they look over at me or my sister and say "how long does this go in the microwave for?" *head explodes* Not only is he very likely holding the box the food came in which contains written instructions on how to make frozen food in like 6 different cooking objects, but they have no included PICTURES! In the words of one of my favorite youtube stars "If I didn't give birth to you, it isn't my job to tell you how long to microwave your sh*t. Learn to read"
#4: The Snooze Button
The invention of the snooze button is both a good thing and bad thing in everyone's life. My probability to be late increases exponentially, but I feel my mood is better. But only an American would have thought "You know how I want to spend the first moments of my day? Asleep."
#5: Snuggies
Not only can you sit on the couch and watch TV for endless hours on Netflix or your DVR (Both of which I'm convinced were invented by Americans) but now your poor little arms don't have to get cold when you reach for another potato chip.
I'm sure I could think of infinitely more things that are clearly American inventions, but for now I'll leave it with these. If you think of more, comment belowwwwwwwwww.
P.S. I'm sorry for hatin' on men so much in this post, don't worry guys, it won't happen again (though it probably will)
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